What I wanted to do...

I have traveled many places, but I've never had as many issues as my recent group of flights to Greece. I should have known how the entire trip was going to go as my first flight started with me losing my (Canadian) passport and boarding pass, discovered only as they were calling for final boarding. The following is the transcript of what occurred (illustration is provided above) while poor Dave, Mel and Rick looked on in wonder:

ME (after frantically searching my carry on twice): Oh my GOD! My passport and boarding card are gone!
LDG (laconic delta guy): [crickets chirp]
ME: Did anyone turn it in at the Delta desk?
LDG: No.
ME: What can I do?
LDG: Nothing.
ME: Can you call security?
LDG: I can call the police.
ME: You don't have the number for security?
LDG: No.
ME: Can we page security?
LDG: No.
ME: Can you wait while I run to security and see if they have it?
LDD: No.

At this point I just took off running - what did I have to lose? A security guys spotted a frantic looking woman sprinting down the concourse and calmly hailed her with "You must be Jillian". Security DID have my passport and boarding card, dammit!

The rest of the flights did not get better, but that's another story. I did, however, check for my passport every ten minutes...